I was 3 months pregnant with my daughter and I was miserable. Prior to my ex-husband and I getting married, my pastor told us to wait at least a year before we began having children. He said the year would allow us time to get to know each other as newlyweds. However, life had a different plan for us. Four weeks into my marriage, I found out I was six weeks pregnant. To say we both were shocked is an understatement.
As I grappled with the idea of being a newly wed and soon to be a mom, I watched my ex-husband become increasingly distant and angry, but it would take me until 5 years later to understand why he was so angry about our pregnancy. (Yes ours because it took both of us.) Nonetheless, at 3 months pregnant, I had a decision to make and that decision was to carry her with joy or be miserable along with my ex-husband. Once I shifted my perspective and was determined to carry her with pride and joy, my world changed, my joy was restored, and my friends, family, and co-workers banded around me and upheld me in ways they never knew they did. I decided that happiness and joy belonged to me and I chose to own it and not rely on someone else for it.
Why am I telling you this? I’m telling you because in life you will face uncertain circumstances that will shake you to your core. And if you find yourself being unhappy in these situations, have your moment but don’t stay there. The decision to change that is not up to our spouses, significant others, family, friends, bosses, etc. The decision is yours and yours alone. When you radiate joy and happiness, you are a beacon of light and you become a magnet to those who are in darkness.
Own your happiness. Do not give anyone else the power to choose it for you. Others will come around (my ex-husband did and he’s an amazing father to our daughter) and if they choose not to, it may be time to re-evaluate those relationships.
It looks good on you.
You are becoming the vision.
